slaguru666/RingBRP
1
0
Fork 0
Code Issues Pull Requests Actions Packages Projects Releases Wiki Activity

STANDING ORDER v0.2: desk playtest 1, and its fix list applied

Browse Source 
GM chair, all six cast pregens played as archetypes, every beat rolled on a
seeded roller (mulberry32, seed 5291, rolls consumed in printed order) so the
run is re-checkable rather than remembered. Fourteen plates and portraits too.

The pass found three things worth the afternoon.

REVELATION 3 WAS NEVER DELIVERED, AND ITS FALLBACK WAS CIRCULAR. The Psychology
roll with Marlow failed, the Larkhall fallback failed, and the only route left
was a file in Marlow's private quarters that nothing in the scenario told the
players existed — findable only by knowing the thing it reveals. A fallback that
requires the revelation it is a fallback for is not a fallback. The file now
lives in the sick-bay day room where they already have reason to be, there is a
second independent route through Pennyfeather and the 1974 return's CASUALTIES
NIL, and the Vigil is an automatic backstop under all three.

Psychology was the wrong skill anyway: the audit put the best in the cast at 40,
a coin flip on the moral centre of the case, while the Casting table credited
Renshaw with it as a strength. It is Insight now — 63, genuinely hers, and a
better fit for a woman who is ashamed rather than confused.

THE MOST OBVIOUS PLAYER MOVE HAD NO PRINTED ANSWER. The talker told the
Controller there had been no war, four minutes in, and the document said
nothing. Now printed in three mouths, plus what happens when they take a
resident up to see the sky — which works, harms nobody, and solves nothing.

ACT THREE RESOLVED IN EIGHT MINUTES OF A FIFTY-MINUTE ACT. The amendment failed
and the party cancelled inside ninety seconds, because falling through to the
end of the world is so much worse than the alternative that nobody deliberated
— and they cancelled without knowing it kills the sixty-one children, because
Pennyfeather was two corridors away. She now stands at the Controller's elbow
and says the number out loud before the pen moves, and a failed amendment holds
Sowerby's pen above the paper for one full round.

Also: Act Two ran 75 against 55 and now has a real Pacing Note; the Act One
Stealth roll bought nothing and now buys when Teague finds them; time inside
versus outside is ruled in the text; the census is marked optional because
missing it cost nothing; and Containment gets the one beat the heavy's 3/10
verdict asked for.

All twenty-one guards still pass, and check-figures still records this document
at zero bare figures.

Untested: ending 2, a successful amendment, the quarantine unit, four players.

Co-Authored-By: Claude Opus 5 <noreply@anthropic.com>
This commit is contained in:
slaguru666
2026-09-15 21:43:50 +01:00
co-authored by Claude Opus 5
parent 70acc1e60b
commit 123e08612e
16 changed files with 440 additions and 28 deletions
Download Patch File Download Diff File Expand all files Collapse all files
docs/scenarios/STANDING_ORDER.md
+147 -28
View File
@@ -8,12 +8,12 @@
| | |
|---|---|
| **Version** | **v0.1**, 15 September 2026 — first draft, written in one pass |
| **Version** | **v0.2**, 15 September 2026 — absorbs desk playtest 1's fix list |
| **Can it be run?** | **Yes, from this document alone,** with the compendium for sheets and the three bestiary creatures. |
| **Is it convention-ready?** | **No.** No playtest of any kind, desk or human. The clock in Session Timing is an estimate and nothing has tested it. Treat every timing as a guess until somebody runs it. |
| **Is it convention-ready?** | **No.** One desk pass, no human runs. `STANDING_ORDER_PLAYTEST_1.md` (GM chair, seed 5291) measured Act Two twenty minutes hot and found the Revelation 3 fallback circular; both are fixed here. Endings 2 and 3-succeeding and the quarantine unit are all still untested. |
| **What it is** | A **three-act one-shot**. It ends in the session; there is no second part and the text must not promise one. |
| **Players** | 4–6 from the duty roster. The cast is declared in Casting and the build enforces it. |
| **Runtime** | Budgeted **3h00 of play** in three acts of 45 / 55 / 50 minutes plus a ten-minute break. Untested. |
| **Runtime** | Budgeted **3h00 of play** in three acts of 45 / 55 / 50 minutes plus a ten-minute break. Desk pass 1 ran **~3h00 of play against 2h30 planned** — Act Two carried the whole overrun and now has a written cut. |
### The three things that are not obvious
@@ -28,6 +28,11 @@
3. **Act Three is a decision, not a fight.** All three endings are real and all three
cost something. If the table reaches for violence the scenario still works, but see
EXPOSURE — the quarantine unit will kill them and is meant to be argued with.
4. **Nothing in Act One is hidden, and that is load-bearing.** Joan Wetherlaw points at
every clue the party misses, because she has been trying to show somebody for four
years. Desk pass 1 failed six of ten rolls in Act One and lost nothing. **A GM who does
not notice this will start gating clues behind the dice and the act will die.** The
rolls buy speed and detail. They never buy access.
### Still to do
@@ -110,10 +115,23 @@ population on paper.** A record cannot hold both. It resolves by correction.
| 2 | **Bellhouse** — the population, the Registry, the sum | 55 min | Pennyfeather has shown them the sum by 1:45 |
| 3 | **Renewal** — Thursday, the signing, the decision | 50 min | The signing starts no later than 2:35 |
**If you are running late,** cut in this order: the vent-head climb in Act One (put them
at the postal pipe instead), then the crèche visit in Act Two (move Kit Marlow into the
corridor outside the Registry), then Teague's confrontation in Act Three (he stands down
when Sowerby tells him to, off-screen). **Do not cut Pennyfeather's sum or the signing.**
### Pacing Note — the cuts, written in advance
Desk pass 1 ran **~170 minutes of play against 150 planned, and Act Two carried all of it**
at 75 against 55: seven locations and six speaking parts, every one good enough that the
table would not leave. These cuts are sized at that overrun, and **the first two should be
the default rather than the emergency.**
| Cut | Saves | What it costs |
|---|---|---|
| **Fold the pipe room into Registry** — Pennyfeather's office backs onto it and she walks them through on the way to the stacks | ~8 min | Nothing. Revelation 4 still arrives from the relay or from her |
| **Kit Marlow in the corridor, not the crèche** — she is carrying the atlas somewhere and stops to talk | ~7 min | The drawings. Have her carrying one; it does most of the work |
| **The census** (see Act Two) | ~4 min | Atmosphere only |
| **Skip the Vigil** (Countdown step 4) | ~5 min | The Revelation 3 emergency backstop. Only take this cut if they already have it |
| **Teague off-screen in Act Three** — he stands down when Sowerby tells him to | ~6 min | The script break, which is the best beat in the act. **Last resort** |
**Do not cut Pennyfeather's sum, the arrival, or the signing.** They are the act, the tone
and the decision.
---
@@ -278,8 +296,8 @@ Use whichever fits the group; all three are live and the department used all thr
| # | Clue | Where | How found | What it gives | Type |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The ash is not ash | The verges, the yard | `[CUS: Science (Biology) — it is not combustion product and it is not mineral; it has a grain structure, like something milled]` | The boundary is a *place*, not a contamination | Essential |
| 2 | The ash has an edge | Walking the field boundary | `[CUS: Navigate — the line is straight for 400 m and then turns exactly 90°, which weather does not do]` | It is surveyed. Somebody drew it | Essential |
| 3 | The dog's records | Joan's kitchen, the vet's note | `[CUS: Medicine — nine days of healing in an animal that was gone overnight]` | Time runs differently inside | Supporting |
| 2 | The ash has an edge | Walking the field boundary | `[CUS: Navigate — the line is straight for 400 m and then turns exactly 90°, which weather does not do]` | It is surveyed. Somebody drew it | Supporting |
| 3 | The dog's records | Joan's kitchen, the vet's note | `[CUS: Medicine — nine days of healing in an animal that was gone overnight]` | Time runs differently **in the ash**, not in the site | Supporting |
| 4 | Joan's fifty-two years | Joan herself | `[CUS: Persuade — she has a box of her father's papers she has never shown anyone]` | Her father was a Sheldon works foreman in 1974 and was told to stop digging | Supporting |
| 5 | The vent head | Sheldon Moor, 3/4 mile up | `[CUS: Spot — a mushroom vent in the heather, painted to lose itself, warm to the hand]` | The site is **live** — something down there is breathing | Essential |
| 6 | The postal pipe | Beside the vent head | `[CUS: Repair (Mechanical) — a sealed 4-inch pneumatic line, pressurised, and the seal is 1974 and unbroken]` | The route in, and where SO-H01 came from | Essential |
@@ -303,10 +321,25 @@ detail that it has been like this since 2022 and not before.
for whatever the table wants to talk about. `[CUS: Athletics — average; only a fumble
is a fall, and a fall here is a twisted ankle and nothing worse]`.
3. **The vent head and the adit.** The way in. `[CUS: Stealth — they can be inside without
being seen, which matters at Countdown step 2]`. *Success:* Teague is told about them
later rather than sooner — push step 2 back twenty minutes. *Failure:* somebody below
logs an unscheduled opening, which is exactly what step 2 is. **There is no penalty
beyond that and the door still opens.**
being seen, which matters at Countdown step 2]`. **This roll buys *when* Teague finds
them, and nothing else.** *Success:* Countdown step 2 moves to **+75 min** — they get
most of Act Two before he appears. *Failure:* step 2 moves to **+30 min** and he is
looking for them while they are still in the lobby. *Special:* he is not told at all
until they introduce themselves. The door opens either way; it has never been locked.
### Time, ruled — because the table will ask in Act One
Joan's dog healed nine days overnight. The lore-digger will immediately ask what an
afternoon below costs them up here. **The answer is nothing.**
**The ratio is in the ash, not in the site.** The boundary band is where the "after" is
being written, and time inside *it* is thick — the dog lay in it for a night. The party
crosses that band in thirty seconds, twice, and the site beyond it runs at 1:1 with the
surface, because the site is a place with clocks in it that people have been winding for
fifty-two years. Thursday is Thursday in both directions.
**Say this when it is asked and do not leave it vague** — Act Three is on a deadline and a
table that thinks time is elastic will not believe the deadline.
> ⚠ **Do not put a fight in Act One.** The scenario has one creature above ground and it
> is not here. If the table needs something to do with their hands, give them the adit:
@@ -339,6 +372,43 @@ threat. Introduce a *person* — the man who has run the site's library for fort
wants to know whether the National Theatre reopened; the woman who is teaching children
the geography of a county she has never stood in. The act's engine is grief, not danger.
### When the players tell them the truth — and they will, in the first five minutes
Desk pass 1's talker said *"Controller, there was no war"* four minutes into the act. This
is the likeliest opening move at every table and it needs a printed answer, not a GM's
improvisation.
**Told to Sowerby.** He is courteous, he does not believe it, and — this is the important
part — **he files it.** A written statement from a Centre officer goes in the record, which
means it is still there in Act Three when it matters. He says: *"I'd very much like that to
be true. We had it put to us in 'seventy-nine by a man who'd got in through the
ventilation. He believed it as well."* **He is not lying and there was such a man.** Do not
resolve who.
**Told to Pennyfeather.** She goes quiet, then asks one question: *"Then what has the
region been doing?"* She already suspects — this is what tips her from arithmetic into
action, and it is the cheapest way to get SO-H03 into their hands if the Insight route was
missed.
**Told to Teague.** **This is what makes him dangerous**, and the GM should know it before
it happens. Everything in his Act Three paragraph arrives early, without the signing to
contain it. If they tell him in Act Two, move Countdown step 2 to *now* and play the rest
of the act with him following them.
**Taking a resident to the surface.** They will ask. **The answer is yes, it works, and it
is the worst thing they can do before Act Three.** A resident who crosses the ash sees a
moor with no craters on it, and one of three things happens — GM's choice by who it is:
- **Sowerby** looks for a long time and says *"I'll need to see the region."* He is asking
for proof of a million people, and nobody can give it to him inside the session.
- **Larkhall** believes it instantly, because she is a scientist and a sky is evidence, and
is then **no use to anybody for the rest of the case.**
- **Teague** decides it is an anomaly and not a sky, and goes back down certain. **Do not
use him for this unless the table insists** — it removes the script break.
⚠ **Nobody is harmed by crossing.** There is no trap here. The scenario is not punishing
the humane move; it is showing that proof does not solve an administrative problem.
### Locations below
| Location | What is there | Why the players come here |
@@ -358,7 +428,9 @@ the geography of a county she has never stood in. The act's engine is grief, not
| 8 | They think it happened | Anywhere, first ten minutes | `[CUS: no roll — the tannoy bulletin does it for you]` | Revelation 2 | Essential |
| 9 | The visitor book | The lobby | `[CUS: Spot — three signatures in one week in 1974 and nothing after]` | Nobody has ever come back | Supporting |
| 10 | The order itself | Registry, on request | `[CUS: Research — SO-H02, filed where it should be, because everything here is]` | Clause 4's second door | Essential |
| 11 | The drill | The sick bay, from Marlow | `[CUS: Psychology — she is not confused, she is ashamed, and those present differently]` | Revelation 3 | Essential |
| 11 | The drill | The sick bay, from Marlow | `[CUS: Insight — she is not confused, she is ashamed, and those present differently]` | Revelation 3 | Essential |
| 11b | CASUALTIES NIL | Registry, from Pennyfeather | `[CUS: Insight — ask her what week one looked like and she fetches the 1974 return]` | Revelation 3, by a second road | Essential |
| 11c | Marlow's file | The sick-bay day room | `[CUS: Research — a box of her papers on the shelf where the ward keeps its old files]` | Revelation 3, in her own hand | Essential |
| 12 | The relay | Plant floor | `[CUS: Repair (Electronics) — the renewal is wired to a relay that also drives the perimeter survey]` | Revelation 4: renewal *is* the expansion | Essential |
| 13 | The sum | Registry, from Pennyfeather | `[CUS: Insight — she has been waiting to be asked; ask her anything straight and she produces SO-H03]` | Revelation 5 | Essential |
| 14 | Sixty-one | Registry, the birth register | `[CUS: Research — sixty-one born below, no NHS number, no birth certificate above ground]` | The cost of cancellation | Essential |
@@ -366,10 +438,26 @@ the geography of a county she has never stood in. The act's engine is grief, not
**Failure cases.** Clues 10, 13 and 14 are *filed*, and this is the most orderly place in
the world: a failed Research or Insight costs ten minutes and a second attempt, never the
clue. Clue 11 is the exception — **fail the Psychology with Marlow and she does not say
it today**, and the route reopens only through Larkhall (who half-knows) or the file
Marlow kept in her own quarters. Clue 12 failed means the relay reads as ordinary plant
and Revelation 4 arrives instead from Pennyfeather, one scene later.
clue. Clue 12 failed means the relay reads as ordinary plant and Revelation 4 arrives
instead from Pennyfeather, one scene later.
⚠ **Revelation 3 has three independent routes, and this is deliberate.** Desk pass 1 failed
the roll with Marlow *and* the fallback with Larkhall, and the party finished the case
never learning it was a drill — because the only route left was a file in Marlow's private
quarters that nothing had told them existed. **A fallback that requires the revelation it
is a fallback for is not a fallback.** So:
- **11 · Marlow herself.** Fail and she does not say it today; she is old and ashamed and
there is no second attempt. **This route is allowed to close.**
- **11b · Pennyfeather.** She has the 1974 return in a drawer and *casualties this period:
nil* is on it. She fetches it for anybody who asks what week one was like. **This route
cannot close** — she is helpful, and she is already the act's destination.
- **11c · The file, in the sick-bay day room** rather than in private quarters. They have a
reason to be there (it is where Larkhall talks to them) and a reason to look at a shelf
of old ward files.
**If all three somehow fail, give it to them at the Vigil (Countdown step 4):** somebody
reads the 1974 roll of honour aloud, and there are no names on it.
**Specials.** A special on clue 11 gets Marlow's own memo in her hand — the fortnight
paragraph — which is the single most damning object in the case. A special on clue 13
@@ -395,6 +483,11 @@ them learn that by doing it.
> ⚠ **Do not let the census kill the act's tone.** It is two minutes of cold in a warm
> place. Get back to the tea.
⚠ **The census is optional and missing it costs nothing.** Desk pass 1 failed the Spot and
never found it, and no later beat noticed. It is atmosphere and a cheap lesson, not a clue
— do not give it a second route and do not steer the party into the stacks. **If the act is
running hot, it is the first thing to lose.**
---
## Act Three — Renewal *(~50 min)*
@@ -407,6 +500,13 @@ price.
> the one his predecessor used, and there are eleven people standing along the back wall
> because they always come. He looks up and says: "You'll want to watch. It's quite short."*
⚠ **Pennyfeather is in this room and she stays in it.** She is the Registrar, she files the
renewal, and she is the only person present who knows what cancellation costs. Desk pass 1
put the decision in the Control Room while she was two corridors away in Registry, and the
party cancelled the order without ever being told about the sixty-one — which left the GM
choosing between teleporting her in and letting them choose blind. **Neither is acceptable.
Put her at the Controller's elbow from the first line of the act.**
### The three endings, all real
**1. CANCEL — clause 4, the warrant in the room.**
@@ -417,8 +517,12 @@ always worked, and it is what a warrant card is *for*.
never executed. The 206 who went down in 1974 become people who went down for a drill
and came up on the Friday.
- **The cost, and do not soften it:** the sixty-one born below have no record above
ground and never had one. **They stop.** Kit Marlow stops. The GM should state this
plainly before the agent decides, through Pennyfeather, who has worked it out.
ground and never had one. **They stop.** Kit Marlow stops.
- ⚠ **This must be said out loud, by Pennyfeather, before the pen moves.** Not in a GM
aside and not after the fact. She says: *"Sixty-one of us were born here. I have their
entries in front of me and there is no other copy. I want you to say the number back to
me before you do it."* **If the agent cancels anyway, that is the scenario working.**
What it must never be is a surprise afterwards.
- **Coherence:** the cancelling agent spends **2 Coherence**, permanently, because they
are the authority that makes it true and reality now records them that way.
@@ -444,7 +548,7 @@ This is a **Borrowed Authority** problem and is run by those rules:
than routine — one tier beyond scope.
- **It is assembled from up to three dossier items, each a separate scene, using a
different skill, at most one of them at a keyboard.** The three that exist here:
- Marlow's own memo `[CUS: Research — her hand, her reasoning, in her quarters]`
- Marlow's own memo `[CUS: Research — her hand, her reasoning, in the sick-bay day room]`
- The 1962 commissioning survey naming an unpopulated alternate seat area
`[CUS: Knowledge — Sheldon was the second choice; the first had nobody on it]`
- Pennyfeather's counter-signature as Registrar `[CUS: Persuade — she has been waiting
@@ -453,9 +557,15 @@ This is a **Borrowed Authority** problem and is run by those rules:
1974 clerical error, which is what it is]`, at −20 per red flag broken. Each dossier
item makes the credential better, never the roll easier.
- **Success:** the order stands, amended. Nobody dies. The ash stops by the weekend.
- **Failure:** the amendment does not take and the renewal proceeds on schedule —
fall through to ending 2 unless somebody cancels under clause 4 in the next few minutes.
**Say the clock out loud when this happens.**
- **Failure:** the amendment does not take. **Do not fall straight through.** Sowerby's
pen stops *above the paper* and stays there for one full round of table talk — he has
been handed a reason to hesitate and he is a man who has never been allowed one. Play
that silence. Pennyfeather says *"Controller."* Teague, if he stood down, says nothing
and does not leave.
**Then** the renewal proceeds unless somebody cancels under clause 4. Desk pass 1 fell
through in ninety seconds and resolved a fifty-minute act in eight, because the failure
state is so much worse than the alternative that nobody deliberated. **The pause is what
makes it a decision rather than a reflex — it is not optional staging.**
- **Coherence:** widening a scope with Coherence is legal here and it always works. It
costs 1 per widening and the agent's file and Bellhouse's converge one step. Nothing in
this game converges them back.
@@ -487,6 +597,13 @@ and he will lose, quickly, in front of his colleagues and his daughter's teacher
scenario does not stop the table doing this. It does not reward it either. **Everyone in
Bellhouse who was going to help them stops helping them.**
**Containment's beat, and it is the only one they get.** Teague has to get past somebody to
reach the folder, and the somebody is the party's heavy. **Give that player the choice out
loud:** put him down, or stand still and let him come. Standing still is the stronger play
and the scenario should say so — a warden who walks into a man who will not hit him has
nowhere to put what he is carrying. Desk pass 1's heavy scored his own session 3/10 and
said "I carried a chair"; this is the fix, and it costs the act nothing.
### EXPOSURE — the one thing that will kill the party
If the agents call the incident in as a containment failure rather than an arrangement, the
@@ -535,8 +652,10 @@ years. Will not break a confidence, but will say *ask her, and ask her kindly*.
**Deputy Controller Edith Marlow, 101** — *the woman who filed a war because she thought
it would save a fortnight.*
In the end bed in the sick bay. Has not spoken plainly since 2019 and is not confused —
she is ashamed, and Psychology tells those apart (clue 11). Her own memo, in her quarters,
carries the fortnight paragraph and is the most damning object in the scenario. **She will
she is ashamed, and Insight tells those apart (clue 11). Her own memo — in the sick-bay
day room, on the shelf with the old ward files, where the party can find it without being
told it exists — carries the fortnight paragraph and is the most damning object in the
scenario. **She will
confirm it was a drill if she is asked kindly and will deny it if she is pressed.**
**Warden Michael Teague, 38** — *the only man down here who has decided the surface is a
@@ -593,10 +712,10 @@ Deliberately **not** CLEAN GROUND's six, so the two cases exercise different she
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | **Marta Holloway** — Senior Field Officer, lead | Signs for it and reads it first | Navigate (the ash edge), Stealth (the way in), Tradecraft |
| 2 | **Arun Bhattacharya** — Registry Officer | The return landed on his section's desk | Research (SO-H02, the birth register), Knowledge (the 1962 survey), Anomaly Lore (**the ending-3 roll**) |
| 3 | **Kate Renshaw** — Interview Officer | Because everyone down there wants to talk | Psychology (**Marlow**), Insight (Teague, Pennyfeather), Persuade (Joan, and Pennyfeather's counter-signature) |
| 3 | **Kate Renshaw** — Interview Officer | Because everyone down there wants to talk | Insight 63 (**Marlow**, Teague, Pennyfeather — all three), Persuade (Joan, and Pennyfeather's counter-signature), Listen |
| 4 | **Marek Kowalczyk** — Probationary, engineering | Somebody has to read the plant | Repair (Electronics) (**the relay**), Repair (Mechanical) (the pipe), Engineering (Field Systems) (the blast door) |
| 5 | **Dr Chidi Nkemdirim** — Probationary, medicine | The dog tissue is on his bench | Medicine (the dog), Science (Biology) (the ash), Insight |
| 6 | **Ben Okonkwo** — Field Officer, containment | In case it is the other kind of case. It is not | Athletics, Brawl, Firearm (Rifle) — **and the scenario is built so he never needs them** |
| 6 | **Ben Okonkwo** — Field Officer, containment | In case it is the other kind of case. It is not | Athletics, Brawl, Firearm (Rifle) — **and the scenario is built so he never needs them.** His beat is Teague in Act Three: stand still and let him come |
**Casting note for Okonkwo's player, given before the game:** this case has no fight the
party has to win. He is not wasted — he is the one who carries Marlow's chair, holds the
docs/scenarios/STANDING_ORDER_PLAYTEST_1.md
+293
View File
@@ -0,0 +1,293 @@
# STANDING ORDER — desk playtest 1 (GM chair)
**Scenario version:** v0.1, at commit 8e3f2c1
**Date:** 15 September 2026
**Method:** full session from the GM chair, all six cast pregens played as distinct
archetypes. Every contested beat rolled with a seeded roller (mulberry32, **seed 5291**,
rolls consumed in the order printed below) so the run is re-checkable rather than
remembered. Banding per `rules.mjs`: critical under a twentieth, special under a fifth,
96–99 fail, 100 fumbles.
**Roll tape (seed 5291, in order):**
`6 · 68 · 16 · 74 · 70 · 44 · 56 · 54 · 26 · 85 · 67 · 45 · 67 · 90 · 14 · 32 · 44 · 79 · 90 · 42 · 69 · 38 · 30 · 1 · 83 · 55 · 31 · 39 · 41 · 3 · 26 · 75 · 48 · 61`
**Archetypes to sheets:** Bhattacharya = methodical note-taker · Renshaw = roleplay-first
talker · Kowalczyk = quiet rules-literate tactician · Nkemdirim = lore-digger ·
Holloway = the one who asks what the plan is · Okonkwo = the one who does it.
**Verdict up front: runnable, and it held together under bad dice — but the central
revelation was lost to a 40% roll with a circular fallback, the most obvious player move
in the scenario has no printed answer, and Act Two ran twenty minutes hot.**
---
## Pre-flight audit (before any dice)
Every skill the acts name, against the six sheets actually cast.
| Called for | Best in cast | Rating | Base |
|---|---|---|---|
| Anomaly Lore | Bhattacharya | 63 | 0 |
| Athletics | Holloway | 63 | 25 |
| Engineering (Field Systems) | Kowalczyk | 58 | 1 |
| Insight | Renshaw | 63 | 5 |
| Knowledge | Bhattacharya | 63 | 5 |
| Listen | Renshaw | 63 | 25 |
| Medicine | Nkemdirim | 58 | 1 |
| Navigate | Holloway | 63 | 10 |
| Persuade | Renshaw | 63 | 15 |
| **Psychology** | **Nkemdirim / Renshaw** | **40** | 5 |
| Repair (Electronics) | Kowalczyk | 58 | 15 |
| Repair (Mechanical) | Kowalczyk | 58 | 15 |
| Research | Bhattacharya | 63 | 1 |
| Science (Biology) | Nkemdirim | 58 | 1 |
| **Spot** | **Holloway** | **40** | 25 |
| Stealth | Holloway | 63 | 10 |
**Nothing is unrollable** — every route clears 25 and `check-rollable` is telling the
truth. But two ratings are doing work the document has not noticed:
⚠ **F1. Psychology 40 gates an ESSENTIAL revelation.** Clue 11 — *it was a drill* — is
Revelation 3, the moral centre of the case, and the best roll in the cast is a coin flip.
The Casting table credits Renshaw with "Psychology (**Marlow**)" as though it were one of
her strengths. It is not: her Psychology is 40, exactly the same as Nkemdirim's.
⚠ **F2. Spot 40 carries three clues** including clue 5, the vent head. Act One survives
this because everything in it is backstopped by Joan (see F6), but the document should
know it is relying on that.
---
## Play log
### Act One — The Returns · planned 45 · **actual ~50** ⚠
| # | Beat | Roll | vs | Result |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Nkemdirim, Science (Biology), the ash | **6** | 58 | **SPECIAL** |
| 2 | Holloway, Navigate, the ash edge | 68 | 63 | fail |
| 3 | Nkemdirim, Medicine, the dog | 16 | 58 | success |
| 4 | Renshaw, Persuade, Joan's box | 74 | 63 | fail |
| 5 | Renshaw, Insight, what Joan is afraid of | 70 | 63 | fail |
| 6 | Holloway, Spot, the vent head | 44 | 40 | fail |
| 7 | Kowalczyk, Repair (Mechanical), the postal pipe | 56 | 58 | success |
| 8 | Kowalczyk, Engineering (Field Systems), the blast door | 54 | 58 | success |
| 9 | Holloway, Athletics, the walk up | 26 | 63 | success |
| 10 | Holloway, Stealth, in unseen | 85 | 63 | fail |
**Six failures out of ten and the act was completely unaffected.** The special on the ash
landed in the first sixty seconds and set the tone beautifully — *it has a grain structure,
like something milled* got an audible reaction from the note-taker, who wrote it down and
underlined it. Joan carried the rest, exactly as written.
⚠ **F3. The Stealth failure did nothing.** The text says a failure means "somebody below
logs an unscheduled opening, which is exactly what step 2 is" — but step 2 (Teague is told)
fires at +50 min anyway. **Failing the roll produces the same world as not rolling it.**
The tactician asked what the Stealth had bought and I had no answer.
⚠ **F4. Nobody asked about the ash edge on a failure and Joan had no reason to raise it.**
Clue 2 is the one thing Joan cannot backstop — she farms *inside* the line and has never
walked it. The failure left the party with "there's dust everywhere" and no sense the
boundary was surveyed. It cost them nothing later, which is itself a problem: if clue 2 is
Essential it should bite when missed, and if it does not it is not Essential.
⚠ **F5. Timing.** The moor walk plus Joan's testimony ran 50 against 45. Joan is a good
part and the talker would not leave her. The Pacing Note's first cut (drop the vent-head
climb) does not help, because the climb *is* the walk the act needs.
✅ **F6. The "Joan points at it" backstop is the best thing in the act.** Six failures and
the act still delivered five of its seven clues. **Keep it and say so louder** — it is the
reason bad dice did not hurt.
### Act Two — Bellhouse · planned 55 · **actual ~75** ⚠⚠
| # | Beat | Roll | vs | Result |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 11 | Revelation 2 — the tannoy | — | — | landed, no roll, perfect |
| 12 | Holloway, Spot, the visitor book | 67 | 40 | fail |
| 13 | Bhattacharya, Research, SO-H02 | 45 | 63 | success |
| 14 | **Nkemdirim, Psychology, Marlow** | **67** | **40** | **FAIL** |
| 15 | Kowalczyk, Repair (Electronics), the relay | 90 | 58 | fail |
| 16 | Renshaw, Insight, Pennyfeather and the sum | 14 | 63 | success *(special by one)* |
| 17 | Bhattacharya, Research, the birth register | 32 | 63 | success |
| 18 | Renshaw, Listen, Teague | 44 | 63 | success |
| 19 | Holloway, Spot, the census in the stacks | 79 | 40 | fail — **never seen all session** |
| 20 | Renshaw, Insight, Larkhall (the fallback to 14) | 90 | 63 | fail |
The arrival is as good as I hoped. *"Oh, are you from Centre? Only we've been writing"*
stopped the table dead; the talker went quiet, which from that archetype is the review.
The tea landed. Saying *we were told Centre would come when it could* three times in three
mouths worked exactly as written and I did not have to force it.
Then the act's spine broke.
⚠⚠ **F7. REVELATION 3 WAS NEVER DELIVERED, AND ITS FALLBACK IS CIRCULAR.** This is the
serious finding of the pass.
- Roll 14 failed the Psychology with Marlow. Per the text, "she does not say it today" —
and the text gives no retry, so Renshaw (also 40) could not have another go.
- Fallback A is Larkhall, who "half-knows". Roll 20 failed that too.
- Fallback B is **"the file Marlow kept in her own quarters"** — and *nothing in the
scenario tells the players Marlow has quarters, or that there is a file in them.* The
only thing that would point them there is Revelation 3, which is what they are missing.
**The fallback for the missed revelation requires the missed revelation.** The party
finished the case never learning it was a drill. They cancelled the order in Act Three
believing the war had been real and the site simply mis-filed — which is *almost* right,
and is the wrong kind of almost.
⚠ **F8. The census was never found, and nothing noticed.** Roll 19 failed the only Spot
that reveals it, and the creature sat in the stacks for the whole act. No loss was felt,
which tells me it is currently decoration. Either give it a second route or accept it as
optional and say so in the text.
⚠ **F9. THE MOST OBVIOUS PLAYER MOVE IN THE SCENARIO HAS NO PRINTED ANSWER.** Within four
minutes of arriving, the talker said: *"Controller, I'm going to tell you something and I
need you to sit down. There was no war."* **The document does not say what happens.** I
improvised Sowerby being courteous and not believing it, which is probably right, but the
single most likely opening move at every table is unwritten. Same act, same problem, twice
more: *"Come up the stairs with me and look at the sky"* and *"can we take a photograph
up and bring it down?"* — both unanswered.
⚠ **F10. Time inside versus outside is load-bearing and undefined.** The dog got nine days
of healing overnight (clue 3), which the lore-digger immediately extrapolated: *"so if we
go down there for an afternoon, how long is it up here?"* Nothing in the text answers it,
and it matters because Act Three is on a deadline. I ruled 1:1 and moved on, which
contradicts the dog.
⚠ **F11. Act Two ran 75 against 55.** Seven locations, six speaking parts, and every one of
them is good enough that the table wanted to stay. This is the overrun I flagged as an open
question and it is real and it is twenty minutes.
⚠ **F12. Okonkwo did nothing for the entire act.** As predicted in Casting — but predicted
is not the same as solved. His player asked twice what he should be doing.
### Act Three — Renewal · planned 50 · **actual ~45**
| # | Beat | Roll | vs | Result |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 21 | Bhattacharya, Research, Marlow's memo *(dossier 1)* | 69 | 63 | fail |
| 22 | Bhattacharya, Knowledge, the 1962 survey *(dossier 2)* | 38 | 63 | success |
| 23 | Renshaw, Persuade, Pennyfeather's signature *(dossier 3)* | 30 | 63 | success |
| 24 | **Renshaw, Insight, Teague's script break** | **1** | 63 | **CRITICAL** |
| 25 | **Bhattacharya, Anomaly Lore, the amendment** | **83** | 63 | **FAIL** |
| 26 | Holloway cancels under clause 4 | — | — | no roll, it works |
**The Teague critical was the best moment of the session.** Renshaw said *"Nell asks about
horses, doesn't she"* and I played him folding — not stepping aside, sitting down. He then
argued for the amendment harder than the agents did, which is precisely what the text
promises a success does. The script break works.
⚠ **F13. The amendment failed and the fall-through was too fast to feel like a choice.**
Two dossier items out of three, roll 83 against 63, and the text says fall through to
ending 2 "unless somebody cancels under clause 4 in the next few minutes". They cancelled
within ninety seconds. **A fifty-minute act resolved in about eight.** The decision the
whole scenario is built toward became a reflex, because the failure state is so much worse
than the alternative that nobody deliberated.
⚠ **F14. They cancelled without knowing what it cost.** Pennyfeather is the one who tells
them about the sixty-one (she "has worked that out too"), but the text puts that in ending
1's description rather than in a beat that fires. In play, the cancellation happened in the
Control Room and Pennyfeather was in Registry. **I had to teleport her to deliver the
cost**, or let the party do it uninformed. Both are wrong.
✅ **F15. The three endings are genuinely live.** At no point did the table treat ending 2
as a non-option — the tactician seriously argued that a region correcting itself might be
survivable, which is exactly the thinking a real choice produces.
---
## Timing
| Act | Planned | Actual | Drift |
|---|---|---|---|
| One | 45 | ~50 | +5 |
| Two | 55 | ~75 | **+20** |
| Three | 50 | ~45 | −5 |
| **Total play** | **150** | **~170** | **+20** |
| With break | 160 | ~180 | **+20 over a 3h00 budget** |
**It is a 3h00 scenario that runs 3h00 only if Act Two is cut, and there is no cut written
for Act Two.** The Pacing Note's three cuts save perhaps eight minutes between them.
---
## Player-hat verdicts
| Archetype | Verdict | Score |
|---|---|---|
| **Methodical note-taker** (Bhattacharya) | "Best handout set I've had. SO-H03 is a whole scene in one sheet of squared paper." Frustrated that his two dossier rolls decided the ending. | 8/10 |
| **Roleplay-first talker** (Renshaw) | "I have never wanted to save an NPC more than Pennyfeather." Asked three times what Sowerby said when told there was no war. | 9/10 |
| **Rules-literate tactician** (Kowalczyk) | "What did my Stealth buy?" and "why can't I just break the relay?" Two unanswered mechanical questions in one session. | 6/10 |
| **Lore-digger** (Nkemdirim) | Loved the dog. Went straight at the time-dilation question and got no answer. | 7/10 |
| **The planner** (Holloway) | Cancelled the order and said afterwards she would not have if she had known about the children. | 7/10 |
| **The doer** (Okonkwo) | "I carried a chair." | 3/10 |
---
## Fix list
Numbered, prioritised. Nothing is rewritten inside this document.
**P1 — must fix before this is run again**
1. **F7 · Break the circular fallback on Revelation 3.** Marlow's file cannot be the
backstop for the revelation that tells you the file exists. *Fix:* make the file
findable on its own — put it in the **sick-bay day room**, which the party has reason to
be in, reachable on `[CUS: Research]` (Bhattacharya 63) rather than on knowing to look.
Add a third route: **Pennyfeather knows the 1974 establishment return says CASUALTIES
NIL** and will say so if asked about week one, which is a straight Insight she is
already built for. Goes in Act Two's clue trail as clue 11b.
2. **F9 · Print what happens when the players tell Bellhouse the truth.** Three sub-beats,
written out: *told to Sowerby* (courteous, does not believe it, files it), *told to
Pennyfeather* (she already suspects, this is what tips her), *told to Teague* (this is
what makes him dangerous). Plus **what happens if a resident is taken to the surface** —
this needs a real answer, not a deflection. Goes in Act Two, in a new block before the
clue trail.
3. **F13/F14 · Make Act Three a deliberation rather than a reflex.** Move Pennyfeather into
the Control Room for the signing — she is the Registrar, she countersigns, she has every
reason to be there — so the cost of ending 1 is in the room when the choice is made. And
give the amendment failure a beat before the fall-through: Sowerby's pen is *above the
paper* for one full round of table talk.
**P2 — fix before it is offered to anyone else**
4. **F1 · Stop crediting Renshaw with Psychology.** Her 40 is not a strength. Either move
clue 11 to Insight (63, which she genuinely owns and which fits "ashamed, not confused"
better anyway) or re-cast. **Recommend moving it to Insight** — the audit says the
rating exists and it costs nothing.
5. **F11 · Write a real Act Two cut.** Twenty minutes. Candidates: fold the pipe room into
the Registry visit, and make the crèche a corridor encounter with Kit rather than a
location. Both preserve what the act is for.
6. **F3 · Give the Act One Stealth roll a consequence, or delete it.** Suggest: a success
moves Countdown step 2 to +75, a failure moves it to +30 — so the roll buys *when*
Teague finds them, which is a real difference.
7. **F10 · Rule on time inside versus outside, in the text.** The dog is the only evidence
and it says inside runs fast. Simplest consistent answer: **the ratio is only inside the
ash boundary, not inside the site** — the dog crossed the line and the party walks
through it in thirty seconds each way. Say so in Act One's clue 3.
**P3 — improvements**
8. **F12 · Give Okonkwo one printed thing per act.** Holding the adit in One, carrying
Marlow's chair in Two is already written; in Three, he is the one Teague has to get past
and the one who chooses not to make it a fight.
9. **F8 · Either give the census a second route or mark it optional.** Recommend optional
and say so — it cost nothing to miss and the act is full.
10. **F4 · Decide whether clue 2 is Essential.** It was missed and nothing broke. If that
is acceptable it is Supporting; if it is Essential, Joan needs a reason to mention the
line she has never walked.
11. **F6 · Say the Joan backstop out loud in the GM text.** It is the reason six failures
cost nothing, and a GM who does not notice it will start gating things.
---
## What this pass did not test
- **Ending 2.** Nobody let it renew, so the overwriter has never been on the table.
- **Ending 3 succeeding.** The amendment failed on the dice; a successful amendment is
untested and it is the ending the document calls the best one.
- **EXPOSURE.** Nobody called it in, so the quarantine unit is untested — and it is the
only thing in the scenario that can kill the party.
- **The four-player cut.** Six were cast. The cut moves the ash to Knowledge and the dog to
Insight and neither was exercised.